Rite of Confirmation
by Corbeaun
Summary: She never thought it would be like this.


Rite of Confirmation  
  
by Corbeau Noir  
  
Disclaimer: The Justice League superheroes and all its continuity glory belong strictly to DC. The following interpretation of Hawkgirl and Wonderwoman does not.  
  
Author's Note: For Livia and Bex's Superhero Roulette! Challenge. I am assuming for all intents and purposes that Sheyra is married to Hawkman aka Katar Hol.  
  
**********  
  
The first thing she tells Diana afterwards is: "This is only temporary." They are on the couch, she has her hand on Diana's stomach, and she means what she says. She will mean it still when she says it the second time, then the third, the fourth, and later when she stops counting.  
  
"This is temporary," she says, not to be cruel but because it is truth, the way Earth can never be Thanagar truth, the way Diana can never be Katar truth. "Temporary," she will say, and Diana always smiles up at her from wherever they are lying –- bed, couch, floor, table -- and kiss her.  
  
It's not that Sheyra's blind, how she doesn't see the way Diana looks at her, the bright way her eyes burn, more than mere affection, a little less than unconditional love. Giving Diana what Diana asks is foolish, selfish and ultimately unkind, even if Diana herself seems to think differently, and what now lies between them makes Sheyra feel guilty no matter how she tries to rationalize it. But both of them were alone for so long, abandoned on a strange world with neither family nor loved ones to hold or talk to.  
  
Diana brings kinship. And this is also truth.  
  
"There is no commitment, my friend," Sheyra will later remember Diana telling her. "We're just sharing a little warmth to get past this world we must face each day." And she will remember Diana kissing her then, warm blue eyes focused only on her. "Surely your Katar will grant you that."  
  
The rest will happen gradually. So gradually she will not remember when Diana first brings the spare toothbrush to her Midway City apartment. When Diana stops bringing changes of clothes because half the closet is already hers. When the fridge is always stacked with the bottled mineral water that Diana likes. It will all happen so gradually that Sheyra doesn't stop it.  
  
Further into the future.  
  
Sometimes they will go out together to the movies. The flat pictures amuse Diana endlessly and she finds the whole effect quaint, but Sheyra appreciates the surround sound and the flickering colors on screen. They will share one popcorn bag because the rates are so exorbitant. It's usually Sheyra who will hold the bag, and Diana will reach into her lap for popcorn every few minute. More than one movie will pass with Sheyra remembering only the pressure of Diana's fingers on her thigh through the thin paper of the popcorn bag. When they leave the cinema, the tiny quirk to Diana's mouth will tell her that those actions are not completely innocent, but Shayera will never confront her about it. Like many other things she will never confront.  
  
Even further.  
  
She will see the other League members watching the two of them, both openly and not so openly. She will catch Superman staring and he will redden and apologize, although he will never clarify for what. Greenlantern will be only slightly more subtle, except he doesn't apologize when caught. Sheyra doesn't pretend to know what J'onn or Batman thinks. Only Flash, for all his innuendoes, will seem completely oblivious to what is really between her and Diana.  
  
Further.  
  
There will be a day, after a particularly grisly battle, Diana comes to her private quarter at League headquarter, and she will let her. There will be a day Sheyra does not wait for Diana to come to her and will go to her first. She will also bring a spare toothbrush.  
  
Further.  
  
Sometimes, when there's only the two of them, she will wear Diana's bracelet.  
  
There will be guilt, there will always be guilt, but she will remind herself that she's not alone anymore and she will use the memory of that terrible aching loneliness, that terrible neediness Diana so slowly appeases, to ward off the constant sense of betrayal. Sometimes she will even succeed.  
  
More often though, Sheyra will finger the bracelet that slips loosely around her forearm, will glance over at the bracelet's companion on Diana who will lay beside her on the bed. Thanagarians don't wear rings, but Diana's bracelet will be warm against her skin, just as Diana herself is warm against her back.  
  
"Did you think," she asks quietly then, looking down at the woman lying with her in bed, "did you think he would grant me this?"  
  
But Diana is asleep, her face turned away. There is no answer. 


End file.
